Appropriate Responses

Those of you that have or have had a five year old know how unpredictable they are. They are like little sponges always listening to everything around them. You never know what they are going to say. So imagine my job, working with five year olds every day. I am telling you parents out there, you should be scared at how much your child’s kindergarten teacher knows about you. No topic is off limits for them.

Most days I do pretty good at keeping my composer and when they ask questions like “How many girls can I marry?” , or blurt out things like “ My mommy farted so loud My daddy said she was going to break the dishes”. I can even control myself when they get in a discussion about how shit isn’t really a bad word because “My daddy says it all the time”. I can usually redirected the conversation and manage to keep a straight face.

However, sometimes I just can’t help but bust out laughing.

I will tell on my own precious five year old first. Last night we were eating dinner and she starts telling us about how a little boy in her class met a mean man that drives a silver car. This little boy was telling Ashlynn all about how worried he was because this mean man does lots of bad things. Ashlynn quickly reassured Jimmy that it was going to be ok because she was going to pray about this mean man. As you can imagine, this is a proud momma moment for me. I thought wow what a sweet sweet daughter I am raising. Well, just about the time I am about to give myself a huge pat on the back she continues with, “So I did pray momma. I prayed that God would send all the bad people to Mexico so we wouldn’t have bad people in our world.” I about spit my food all over the table. Where does she get this stuff? Note to self-no more 6 o’clock news.

Then this morning, I chose the Hokey Pokey as our morning wiggle song. (Yes, I dance every morning at 8 a.m. -go ahead get your laughing out now.) So any way we are Hokey Pokeying along when I look up and one of my little boys has his hands on the back of his head and he is rotating his hips like he has a hula hoop and he says “Yeah ladies it’s a love fest over here”. Sorry at that moment I absolutely could not keep a straight face.

This one is not actually from my classroom but is too funny not to share. This little boy went into the bathroom and when he came out he promptly went over to his teacher and stated he need three right choices tickets. Mrs. Badeen said “And why is that?” The little boy said because “I peed all over the wall and I cleaned that up. I peed all over the seat and I cleaned that up and I peed all over the floor and I cleaned that up. Mrs. Badeen, a little perplexed asked “Why were you peeing all over everything?”. The little boy looked up with a serious face and said “Because my wienner dog was out of control, duh”.

And my all-time favorite five year old story is from back in the days when I was doing my internship. My mentor teacher believed in starting her morning off with a share time. We went around the room and everyone had a few minute to just share one thing. We get to this little girl and she says “ I am sad this morning because my mommy is crying”. My mentor teacher replied with “I am so sorry. Why is she crying?” The little girl explained that her daddy didn’t come home last night and her mommy was worried. That’s when another little boy jumped up and said “Don’t worry Allison your daddy spent that night at my house last night and had a wrestling contest with my momma.” Oh my mercy I wanted to crawl in a hole.

So if you ever get bored in your job and just want to come over and hang out at mine- I can guarantee a good time!

Comments

Popular Posts