Sunday, April 18, 2010

What to Blame

I was reading and article in Parents magazine this morning about improving your memory. I am usually pretty good about remembering things, but lately I can't see to remember the simplest little things.
For example, Saturday morning I was going to make waffles for my family. I got the bacon out and the sausage out (we have to have both because Marshal wants sausage and Ashlynn , Jaxton (I am sure), and I want bacon). I put them in there skillets and started cooking them. I then go to make the waffle mix. I start measuring out the Bisquick when I remember we are out of eggs. Ok crap first mistake. After a little discussion with Marshal about what to do next it is determined that Marshal is just going to drive down the street to get donuts while I finish cooking the meat.

Off Marshal goes. About that time Jaxton starts crying. One thing I will say about that boy is I have not taught him patience very well. He starts off with a warning fuss, that turns into a cry, which then turns into something that sounds like a tornado siren. I mean, I tried to explain to him that mommy had to what until the meat finished cooking before I could come get him. I had already been popped with bacon grease twice and didn't want to take the chance of it popping on him. Well any way he chose not to listen to his momma, which is starting to be a bad habit of his, might I add.

Ok the meat is finally done. I take it out of the pans, go get Jaxton and come into the bedroom to feed him.

I am just a feeding away and Ashlynn is dancing and singing to Imagination Movers when all of the sudden Marshal bust in and screams Andrea are you ok?

Umm yes we are in here.... Why?

Thats when I get up, walk into the kitchen, and realize.....the entire house is filled with smoke and it stinks to high heaven!

I forgot to turn the stove off! The grease was just burning away. Thank heavens I have my very own Emergency Manager to rush in and save me.

Needless to say I got a "what in the___ where you thinking " look. But here's the deal... I wasn't thinking.

So Parents magazine gave me several suggestions to improve my memory. Am I losing it because I am a new mommy ? Is it because I am not using it to learn new knowledge by taking classes? Or maybe it is because I am not talking on the phone enough? Yes, Marshal the article clearly says talking on the phone improves your memory...

Who knows. All I know is I clearly have lost it-thank goodness I have all of you to take up the slack until I find it again-HA!

Ok here are some random pictures just because...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Saturday Suprise

This weekend was another busy one. Marshal's cousin Lisa got married Saturday in a beautiful afternoon wedding. Marshal and I provided a brunch for the wedding party.

While I was slicing and dicing fruit my home phone rang. I have to say I was pretty annoyed because the only calls I ever get on the home phone are sales calls or political surveys.

To my surprise it was my friend Jennifer and guess what she was in town! I was so excited to get to meet up with her at our old favorite Girls Night Out spot, On The Border.

Times sure have changed. Instead of laughing and talking with a group of girls, we were laughing and smiling at our kids. Instead of drinking three to four margaritas we were downing water. Instead of closing the place down and forcing the waiters to kick us out, we couldn't wait to get our ticket because it was after 8:30 and we were ready for bed. Times have changed , but one thing has stayed the same...we are friends and it was so good to be together again! Love you Jenn!

Jennifer was actually my 2nd surprise visitor of the week! My sweet sweet friend Sarah came Thursday for a surprise visit too! I was so excited to get to see her, but more excited to see her beautiful baby belly!!! Sorry Sarah, but you just have to get use to the fact that you are no longer near as important as that little girl you are carrying! I am very sad though that I didn't get a picture.

If any of my other out of town friends want to come in for a surprise visit please feel free...hint, hint-some of you are really slacking. HA!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Finding my New Normal

I don't admit this easily; in fact I have been fighting this for weeks.

I am struggling.

I am struggling to find my new normal. I am having a hard time organizing my time and my responsibilities. I feel like I am right on the edge of snapping in two. I am exhausted. My emotions are raw. I have nothing extra to give.

I feel like Jaxton is the part of our family we never knew we were missing. He somehow made everything in my life feel complete. I am just so in love with him and God has given me a great sense of patience and a calming spirit when I am with him. But I am struggling. Not with being a mother and not with having a new baby.

With fitting life in around that. Laundry. Cooking. Cleaning. Work. Bills. Exercising. Friendship.

All I want to do is hold Jaxton in one hand and play barbies with Ashlynn in the other. If only life could be that simple. If only the magic fairy would arrive...

I probably sound like a basket case to those of you that aren't around me everyday. I can only imagine what my words have made you think of me. I can assure you from the outside looking in I look like I have it all together (and truthfully that is what I would like everyone to think-ha). I act the same, talk the same, walk the same, and keep that same smile on my face.

This struggle is deep inside of me. I am struggling because I have realized that I have to let something go. My house cannot be as clean as I want it to be. I can't cook homemade meals for my family every night. I can't have my lesson plans completed two weeks in advanced. I can't fit back into my size 4's over night. I can't talk on the phone for hours catching up on the latest chit chat. I can't ensure my four year old puts her toys back in her closet neatly. I can't, I can't, I just can't...

I am one of those people that likes to have control of what happens in my life. I live for plans and schedules. I am super organized. I want everything to be just how I want it. That type of personality is what this struggle is all about. I can't seem to get into a new normal schedule. Everyday I walk around searching for that new normal. How to get everything to work together and get everything in it's place. The normal I have grown so comfortable with is just not there anymore and it drives my crazy!

Admitting I am not perfect or anywhere close to it, is not easy for me. Admitting I don't have it all together is hard. Asking for help is difficult. Putting myself out here is not easy. I am hoping though that by admitting I am struggling I can allow me to cut myself some stack.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Take me out to the Ball Game

I went to my second baseball game ever today. The first one I only went to to impress a boy, like that got me anywhere-HA.
It is no secret that baseball is not my favorite sport. I mean come on, a bunch of boys standing around on a field spitting and waiting for a ball to come flying at their face. What is so exciting about that? I just don't get it. There are so many rules and it all just makes absolutely no sense to me at all.

Today we got invited to sit in the Regions Bank box for the third game in the series of Arkansas vs. Kentucky.

As much as I don't want to admit it, I had a great time. The weather was gorgeous, the food was yummy, Ashlynn had free rein of the entire box, I ate Cracker Jacks and the Razorbacks won!
Apparently is was actually a very good game. Those of you that know baseball please excuse my ignorance. I don't speak baseball. All I know is that at the bottom of the 9th Kentucky was ahead by 3 and then this boy hit a grand slam and everyone in the crowd went crazy wild. I clapped and tried to look very excited, but to be honest I had no clue what was going on. I think the most em brassing thing was I kept just standing there while everyone around me left. Apparently I missed the memo that the game was over! Oh well it was a wonderful family fun afternoon and don't tell Marshal , but I would go to another baseball game if he asked.

P.S. If you didn't see yesterdays post you have to see my cuties at their Easter egg hunt
(sorry I just don't typically post twice in one weekend).

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Happy Easter

I know it has been awhile since I have posted-sorry I have been a little busy lately and feeling overwhelmed, however that is a story for another day. I couldn't go without wishing everyone a Happy Easter though and sharing pictures from today's Easter egg hunt. Ready to go....Jaxton's 1st egg! Jaxton checking out his prizeMay I just add me in one of my favorite pre-preggo jeans! Whoo Hoo 7 pounds in one month (8 more to go to pre and 13 more to my goal weight-yuck)I hope you are all blessed by feeling God's presence in your life this Easter. I love the hope Easter brings. I take great comfort knowing that I live for a God that gave so much and loves so freely. Happy Easter!