Momma Guilt
Being a mother is absolutely the most wonderful and terrifying thing on earth. There is the love, the hugs, the cute things they say and do, and the sweet kisses. And then there is the other side: the worry, the guilt and the growing pains of children testing their independence.
Oh the momma guilt. Ashlynn failed her vision screening at school last week. It really came as quite a surprise to me. We had taken her to the eye doctor two years ago over headaches she was having. Her vision test showed her eyes were great and she was not having any problems. I know that in two years things can change, but she has not complained at all about having any problems seeing.
I made her an appointment for today and the report we got was much different than that from last time. Ashlynn indeed cannot see, especially with her left eye. The
doctor determined that see needs glasses and will need to start wearing them full time. She can see things perfectly at arms length, but past that or closer than that is blurry.
Don't get me wrong. My daughter is beautiful, wonderful and perfect to me. In no way are glasses going to change that. I know that gorgeous little face is going to just look even more gorgeous with a set of sassy designer glasses on it.
However, I am the momma that had to bite my lips as to not cry at the doctors office. How could I not have known? Is this my fault? What is everyone else going to think? What am I going to say and do when she gets made fun of? Has she missed out on important learning at school because she couldn't see?
I know I know. The logical side of me says to stop being so ridiculous. Yet the heart strings inside are yanking away at my mind. Yes, I am well aware that I am extremely good at playing the guilt game. I assure you,if I wanted to, I could find a way to prove that World War II was somehow my fault. Ok maybe not, but you get the point.
Honestly, I know it isn't that big of deal. I think that part of loving our children is wanting the world to be as perfect as it can be for them. Mothering comes mostly from the heart not the mind. ( personal side note: yes sweet most caring friend ever- I wrote that for you. It is much easier to lecture you about it than it is to lecture myself. No worries,I am ready and waiting to have my lecture turn from you).
Ashlynn is super excited and while my acting skills are not quite Oscar worthy, as far as she knows, I am super excited for her. Her new glasses will be in next week and I know the compliments from those of you that get to see us regularly will be flowing. She and I will love every minute of it!
Ready for a sneak peek?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Oh the momma guilt. Ashlynn failed her vision screening at school last week. It really came as quite a surprise to me. We had taken her to the eye doctor two years ago over headaches she was having. Her vision test showed her eyes were great and she was not having any problems. I know that in two years things can change, but she has not complained at all about having any problems seeing.
I made her an appointment for today and the report we got was much different than that from last time. Ashlynn indeed cannot see, especially with her left eye. The
doctor determined that see needs glasses and will need to start wearing them full time. She can see things perfectly at arms length, but past that or closer than that is blurry.
Don't get me wrong. My daughter is beautiful, wonderful and perfect to me. In no way are glasses going to change that. I know that gorgeous little face is going to just look even more gorgeous with a set of sassy designer glasses on it.
However, I am the momma that had to bite my lips as to not cry at the doctors office. How could I not have known? Is this my fault? What is everyone else going to think? What am I going to say and do when she gets made fun of? Has she missed out on important learning at school because she couldn't see?
I know I know. The logical side of me says to stop being so ridiculous. Yet the heart strings inside are yanking away at my mind. Yes, I am well aware that I am extremely good at playing the guilt game. I assure you,if I wanted to, I could find a way to prove that World War II was somehow my fault. Ok maybe not, but you get the point.
Honestly, I know it isn't that big of deal. I think that part of loving our children is wanting the world to be as perfect as it can be for them. Mothering comes mostly from the heart not the mind. ( personal side note: yes sweet most caring friend ever- I wrote that for you. It is much easier to lecture you about it than it is to lecture myself. No worries,I am ready and waiting to have my lecture turn from you).
Ashlynn is super excited and while my acting skills are not quite Oscar worthy, as far as she knows, I am super excited for her. Her new glasses will be in next week and I know the compliments from those of you that get to see us regularly will be flowing. She and I will love every minute of it!
Ready for a sneak peek?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
If it makes you feel better, my mom just thought my sister was the worst baseball player ever, not knowing that she was almost legally blind. See? You're doing great!
ReplyDeleteRylee got glasses a few months ago. ;) PS. I see that Faith gave your blog a make-over. LOVE it. LOVE Faith - she does great work. I always have her do my blog. :)
ReplyDelete